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- Breakfast of Children
-
- Are you hungry?
- (no) Go outside and play, don't bother me!
- (yes) O.K. Let's figure out what we have to do to get breakfast.
- Hey!! Just how old are you?:
- (0 - 4 years) >04
- (5 - 9 years) >59
- (10-13 years) >13
- (14-17 years) >17
- -04
- Go to your parents bedroom.
- Knock softly.
- Did they answer?
- (no) Take your small foot and kick at their door.
- Don't worry about hurting the door - it's bigger than you.
-
- (yes) Ask nicely for breakfast.
- Did they say they would be right there?
- (yes) Don't believe them.
- Wait outside their room and whine every now and then until they get up.
- >end
-
- Did they answer?
- (yes) Politely ask for your breakfast.
- Remind them casually how hungry you are.
- >end
- (no) Cry loudly.
- Exclaim at the injustices being done to children.
- Don't forget to sniffle.
- Have they answered yet?
- (yes) Well, it is about time.
- Walk in and jump on their bed.
- If it took them this long to answer, they are going to need help getting up.
- Demand eggs benedict.
- >end
- (NO) Get your brothers, sisters, dogs, and cats together.
- Now run up and down the hall outside their bedroom.
- Scream and holler at the hunger that grips your young body.
- After two minutes stop and see if they are getting up or not.
- Are they getting up?
- (yes) Run and hid under your bed until breakfast.
- Come out for no one.
- >end
- (no) Continue running and yelling until someone gets hurt.
- That always brings them out.
- O.K. Last try. Have they answered?
- (yes) Good, because we are tired of running and screaming and could use a nap.
- >end
- (no) Bad sign. Stand outside door and yell at top of lungs.
- Go next door to neighbor's house and make them get you breakfast.
- This accomplishes two things:
- (Better food than you could get at home.)
- (And it will embarrass your parents.)
- >end
- -59
- Go to the kitchen.
- Look in the refrigerator and the cupboards.
- -cereal
- Is there any unopened cereal boxes that look appealing?
- (Yes) Good, because only fresh cereal tastes good.
- Pour cereal into bowl.
- Pour milk over cereal.
- Don't bother cleaning up the spilt milk.
- That's what Moms are for.
- >end
- (no) >04
- -13
- Roller skate to kitchen.
- Watch out for the stairs.
- In the kitchen, do you see-
- eggs, bread, milk, white sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, syrup, and butter?
- (No) >cereal
- (yes) Great we are going to make a huge mess.
- I mean a great breakfast.
- Crack and dump three eggs into large bowl.
- Do not include shell.
- Add 2 tablespoons of white and brown sugar.
- Add 1 teaspoon of nutmeg.
- Add 1 teaspoon of cinnamon.
- Mix well then add 3/4 cup of milk.
- Turn on oven.
- Turn off oven we want the stove. GOTCHA YA.
- Place on stove a greased frying pan.
- Place bread into eggs yoke and than turn over bread.
- After bread is totally soaked place into frying pan.
- Let brown and than turn over.
- Take bread out of pan, butter, syrup, eat.
- DO NOT GIVE ANY TO YOUNGER KIDS.
- If you're lucky the younger kids will wake up mom and dad.
- Then mom and dad can take us all to the mall.
- >end
- -17
- You can get your own breakfast by now.
- Here, let me help the little baby.
- >04
- -end
- Now that that is settled, how about mud ball fights in the laundry room.
-